Pains of Thousands

Look around you, and what do you see? Your computer screen is obvious, if you're reading this. Perhaps a desk for the computer? Or your bedside, or something more, if it is a laptop. Some random knick-knacks you might have picked up during trips, or school, or anything. A framed A-paper essay, maybe, or a calender, because you always forget the day. What school do you go to? Piedmont Hills? Independence? MIT? Phoenix? Anytime, or anywhere, you might go to school, unless you dropped out, or maybe don't have enough money. What about TV's? How many; 2, maybe as many as 5 or more? I wouldn't know, because I play only as a human of the Earth; I am no god, nor am I all knowing. And by now you would probably be thinking "Why is this person asking so many stupid questions?" and you're right, why am I. There's more to these kinds of questions than someone might think. These are not interrogations, for I have no intention of meeting any stranger in a dark alley that might have read this, and think that i'm a stalker. These are to get you to think about what you have, and compare it to those less fortunate. Take remote Afghanistan, for instance. Look at their homes: barren, broken down houses that have little furniture compared to what we might have. A Wii and a PlayStation 3? They have board games and cards. 60 in. flat screen plasma TV with Blu-ray? A 12 in. box with antenna for them. Most anything you have will be downgraded for them. For them, it's like a battle for survival. Everything they can do to stay alive. One second, you might be standing next to your best friend in Iraq, and the next, he is either chalk full of led in his spine, or a knife has buried itself in his head. They say "You never know what you have until it's gone" and it's very true. Go to a third-world country, and see what I mean. Be more thankful for your own possessions. Nothing should be taken for granted. I, too, have thought with that mind set for a time of my life, but no longer. It was a time for me to move on at that point in life, and the rite of passage has strengthened me. Grow stronger with these words, and with that, I take my leave.
~Farewell~

~"Sell the kids for food..."~
~In Bloom, by Nirvana~
~Aoi Hikari Tenshi~

Comparisons to Suicide

It just happens. You might just walk into a school bathroom to see crimson red plastered on the wall, a pool of vermillion creeping along the floor, spreading its influence like a plague. A body of any color could be sitting in the middle of the bloody lake, wearing any fashion, any hairstyle, either gender, but all those that are like this share one thing. They are bathing in their own blood, soaking themselves, and others' minds, the color of a rich, cherry red. That stain can never be removed, displaced into a dark corner where it will never arise. No, it stays there, the scar of lifelong injury that had never bothered to maintain its own existence. Why would they have done this to themselves, sparing the time needed to self-induce a brief moment of sudden and extreme agony, only to seal it over with the never-ending veil of blackness we call death? It could be anything, from a family member, finding out that they are forever lame or gone, to maybe even a school paper, not meeting the expectations of you or a superior. There are infinite reasons, and no finite description of it. What the person is thinking, we might never know, because once they have made the decision to die, they don't turn back from it. The post-suicide state has no second branch. It is one road, ending on the edge of the cliff; a cliff that the person has already jumped. There is no rope of life to bring it back. Life is not a video game. You get no second life. But what could be horrible and enough to become something that can be in comparison to suicide? You probably can think of more possibilities than I can, but as said before, there are indefinite reasons. We are not the ones that are allowed to interpret the reasons behind the self-induced urges to kill oneself. These vexing matters cannot stop, for while fear and misery are allowed to taint this world, death and dying is inevitable. Even in harmony, we live with the sounds of people taking their last breaths. You never know if you might be alive to see the new sun, or if your blood has found a way to desert you, leaving you in the hands of a god to toy with for eternity. Some should die in this world, for their soul is in a body not suited for our lifestyle. However, others should not be allowed to pass on, for life is too presious to give up. Do not let allustions of concern and compassion drive you to believe that I am a saint, for I am not. I only speak of such matters reason being that my mind has also been infected with such thoughts, though I have not allowed them to take over my mind. Live life to the fullest, until you are ready. Some may be ready earlier, and they will not hesitate to die, and we are not ones to influence others. Allow them to die, and perhaps they will be reborn into a much more fitting life, allowing them to get the most out of it. New life is born as an old one dies.
~Farewell~

"~What am I leaving, when i'm done here?~"
~Leave Out All The Rest, by Linkin Park
Aoi Hikari Tenshi, The Blue Angel

Humans Are like puzzles...

Every person has a puzzle, a 3-D puzzle in fact, no matter how much they think they don't. That puzzle is their life, every twist and turn, every roadblock, every highway, and intersection they have had. Don't try to put it together though, for even they cannot assemble the mysterious. The puzzle had crumbled into the tiniest pieces, no two pieces alike, every piece trying to find its own way into the puzzle. There is a new piece that appears with every piece you put into the puzzle. And once you complete the puzzle of their life, if you even possibly can, they have already changed into a new lifestyle, and sometimes even a completely new life has chanced upon their dormant soul. They are ever changing, and even those that are "open books" are not complete. You can read and read, but some pages will remain blank. You cannot figure out a person, no matter how you try. Put together the puzzle all you want; you will have solved nothing. Read the book all you want; you will have learned nothing. Men and women's lives are incomprehendable. Study these words, and think if they are not the truth. Then rest not on these laurels and seek the truth for yourself. I have opened my eyes to observe this blinded world, and wish to allow others to see as well as I can. If you do not wish to see in this blind world, then by all means, ignore me. If you want to prove me wrong in my words, then by all means, try. I cannot stop that which I cannot comprehend.

Farewell...

Aoi Hikari Tenshi
I will open your eyes, just as I have opened mine...